Humpty Dumpty's choice

Yesterday, after so many long unmeasurable years, I tried joining our church's fellowship once again. This time however I am now part of the "singles" and not with the "youths". While we were making plans for the upcoming Simbang Gabi our pastor was talking to me about the life story of one our new church member. How he fell in love and fell apart. His story truly was one of deep hurt and sadness. One that even just the thought would really break ones heart. Imagine having your first and last true love die at a very young age.

I would really be torn apart if that happens. I would be broken into pieces without anyone knowing how to fix me, how to put me back together again. Just like Humpty Dumpty. All the Kings men would not be able to help at all; but the King could. Our King could and would if we want Him to and if He wills it. Our King wanted to help us from the very beginning, it was just really up to us whether we want to be fixed or if we want to stay broken. It is our choice. I would leave this entry here so we could all think. This is not just for those who are heartbroken but for everyone who is broken. One of the things I always tell myself is just to let go and let God.

Let go and let GOD.

Crying in Secret

This is a story about three little kids who dreamed big dreams and hoped with all their heart to attain it. Each of them wakes up with a smile on their face knowing that the new day is another step nearer their goal.

One dreams of becoming a Doctor.

The other, a Lawyer.

The last kid wants to be the President.

And we smile. We smile because we want them to achieve those dreams. We smile because we see the hope in their eyes. We smile because we know that they can achieve their goals.

Isn't this such a wonderful story? I just feel so happy for them and I am looking forward to what their future holds. Wait. Let me add another touching element to this story.

They all live in Uganda.

Now my eyes are starting to swell up. They have hope, even if they live in a very tough land. They still dream no matter what condition they were born in. And they work hard for it. Real hard. I know how you feel, you are so touched and proud of them right? You just want to cheer them on and hope that nothing or nobody will ever take that dream away from them. Everything is going fine until a stranger pokes you in the back and whispers, "Not all endings are happy". Way to go weird and ominous stranger for ruining the moment! So you tell on the stranger and say, "Not with my God! With Him all endings are happy ones! You just wait and see." And so we continue with the story of the three wonderful little kids.

One seemingly perfect and peaceful night children from different families were abducted and our three friends were part of those taken. They were dragged and tortured once they try to escape and they were forced into becoming soldiers. Child soldiers. For their first task they were each asked to murder the person their abductors tell them to, they were threatened to death if they choose to disobey. These children, being so young and not knowing what to do, scared of dying they hold their first gun and...

With their first kill they are now considered good soldiers and because they are good soldiers their abductors must make sure that they would stay. Without the children knowing, they murder their family and tells the kids that something bad happened to their family. This way, the kids have no place to call home and nobody to run to. Now all that they are left to do is to cry. Cry their heart out. Cry out all their pains. Cry in secret. In secret because if they were caught crying, if the kids were caught thinking of home, they would be beaten up badly.

In one night their lives changed instantly and took a u-turn. In an instant, their dreams were shattered. And hope? They don't even understand the word anymore. They lost all their hope. You can just hear the stranger laughing behind you and saying his I-told-you-so speech. The sad part is, these kids start to doubt God and stopped calling on His name. It's hard to say that there is hope, because for them the future is just so dark and empty. But we know better, there is hope! THERE IS HOPE! Our hearts break seeing how hopeless these kids are and how some of them do not even hear about the fact that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We all yearn for a happy ending for all of them.

The Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) alone in Uganda abducted 10,000 children and used them as soldiers and even sex slaves. There are around 250,000 child soldiers for rebel groups and government forces in various countries. The number increases as the number of armed forces increase as well. 250,000 kids. These kids need to know that there is hope that with God all endings are happy. I urge you to reach out, to help and to pray. Give your best in doing so, whatever it is, they need it, they need you, they need God. Whatever is in your power to do, do it.

Now I do not want to leave you thinking about the story and how those three kids were left hopeless. No, I also want each of you to have faith and to really really know in your heart that there is hope.

There are people like you and me who went and rescued these kids from harms way. They rescued them, sheltered and fed them, took care of them, and made sure that everything is going to be okay. While doing so they all shared God's word and his hope. The children were not only rehabilitated but they also found peace, joy, and hope once again. Now that is a wonderful ending slash beginning. It really warms my heart knowing that with God all things are beautiful.

Now I wonder where the stranger went, guess he couldn't face defeat.

* Watched this story in the Daystar channel and cried buckets of tears.
The picture was taken from http://joshuadysart.com

From a bad past to a future full of hope

I was watching a documentary about a serial killer and they basically talked about his confessions, how many he killed, how he tortured or raped them before killing them, and all other very disturbing details. Indeed, it was very very disturbing especially after finding out that those who know him (and obviously does not have any idea on his killing spree) describe him as the sweetest and nicest boy-next-door type of guy. Imagine being neighbors with a serial killer for years and not knowing about it! I have also read about different stories of drug users, what it made them do and the damage it has done in their lives, their families, and people around them. Most of them committed numerous crimes, are wanted in different states, sold their bodies and a lot more just for drugs. Drugs that some of them never even wanted in the first place.

There are a lot of things that are happening in this world which are very disturbing and/or heartbreaking, most of which are connected with each other. In the documentary and the stories, there was something I found in common, when they addressed the root problem it was mostly related to something that happened in their childhood. This is not always the case, however it is one of the biggest reason found in most cases. The serial killer had an alcoholic father who abused him and used him everytime he gets home. The drug addict also had an addict as a mother, she sold her for more drugs. The others? Neglected.

A bad past led to a worse present, do we want an even worst future? I'm asking this not just for us, or for others who are affected, but also for them. Child abuse and exploitation is very rampant, statistics show an estimated 0f 150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 are experiencing different forms of forced sexual intercourse and/or violence, 1.8 million are forced into prostitution and/or pornography, 1.2 million are trafficked, 250,000 are turned into child soldiers, and 218 million are forced to work even in dangerous environments. These statistics were reported years ago by the UN and WHO, all are also increasing in number, and these are only estimates. What about the others? those who were neglected, those who were left to die?

What we do with these kids affect their lives and our lives, so while they are young we should not hesitate to do something about it and to help them. Jesus said in Matthew 19:14, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (NIV) Do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. The kingdom of heaven is beautiful, it is peaceful, safe, full of joy, and wonderful in so many words. Such a place exists for them, it belongs to them and we should not take it away from them. There are so many children who needs hope. Just around the corner you'll see them. It is time to stop ignoring them. This is a reminder not just for you but also for me and everyone else who could do something about it even in little ways. Volunteer. Help raise awareness. Whatever is in your power to do, do it.

Jesus said, "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

- Mark 9:37, NIV

I'll Be Ok

Everything will be ok. As long as my God is with me, everything will be ok.

You alone I run to, no one helps me like You
I'll be ok when I'm safe in your arms and the thoughts of this world fades away...
I'll be ok when it's you by my side and the tears of this life wipe away...
I'll be ok with You...

And if my God is with me whom then shall I fear?

August 29, 2009 - A night where I experienced a very bad "shock" in my life. It was my first and hopefully my last. Everything happened so quickly, yet somehow during that time, I thought everything went to a stand still. As if, in that instant, someone made everything go slow. I wish I was brave enough to do something. I can't believe I just stood there. Still, it is all over now and there is nothing I can do about it. Yes, I am still scared. Now, however, I have peace in my heart for I know that my God will never leave my side.

You Never Let Go By Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

I am very thankful that nothing bad further happened. We are God's children and He will always protect us. Lastly, even though it is hard, there is something I must do. Whoever and wherever you guys are, I forgive you.

Being Jack-not-in-a-box

I remember my professor asking us a very typical question just to prove a point. He asked us what we want to do in the future or something along that line. Of course, with a typical question you would also get a typical answer. Most of my classmates answered that they wanted to be employed and climb up the corporate ladder blah-blah, be rich blah-blah, rule the world blah-blah, and a whole lot more. The weird thing is, almost everyone wanted the same things, or maybe some just said so because those are the easiest things to say. What made us all say so? That we want those things and that somehow we are sure that it really is what we want? Are we really considering the depth of the question or are we just following blindly what our "ancestors" told us. I am not however trying to spark up hints of rebelliousness here, you can think deeply of the question whether you want to or not. I just want to tell you something about my professor.

Those deep questions about following blindly, those were his words. I guess he wanted us to make a difference, to not be stuck inside a box.

My professor is sick. He has leukemia, although he is getting better (He was found in stage 3 before, now he is just in stage 1) he still is always pale and tired. Somehow we just want him to rest and get better, and he could have, but he chose not to. He just wants to teach.

I am ending my post right here because I believe that I do not need to add anything else.

Fallen rock stars

I have always known that no human being is ever perfect, that people will always fall short. I always knew this, yet I was still blinded by the idea that somehow, though imperfect, we could all grow old and die as we are. I had such ideologies because I always looked up to leaders who- although they deal with a lot of things- are able to keep their faith in God. However, I somehow forgot that leaders are human too, and that to some extent, they will disappoint us. It is indeed very painful, sad, disheartening, and I could add more feelings and synonym to clearly describe how hard it is.

I have just seen the "worst of Christianity"1, someone whom I looked up to and respected has fallen deeply and I am feeling so many painful emotions, I am scared, and just confused. I am having a very hard time moving on because many of the things I held on to was shattered.

Now, instead of "being impressed with spiritual rock stars"2, I have learned to put my complete hope in Jesus; I am placing all my cares unto God and I know full well that He is our healer and our comforter. God knows exactly how to deal with such pains. He is everything we ever need. We are all still going through a tough time, I am still learning to fully depend on God in everything because there are times when I don't understand it, yet I know that God is embracing us all today.


1 Well, ok not sure if it is the worst, or if my description is too much, but yes, somehow now it is the worst.
2 I got this from Brady Boyd's blog which is also very helpful to this current post.