Change, I welcome thee.

A lot will change and I am learning how to welcome it.

A lot is changing and I am currently welcoming it.

I am looking forward to the time when I will say that a lot has changed and I welcomed it well.

Angela, God wants you to know that...

There is an application in Facebook called "God wants you to know" which gives you daily insights on, well... what God wants you to know. Even though it is just an application, I still believe that God talks to us through it as well. I only open it on certain days, and on those certain days, the messages are really "sakto". It is usually so timely and exact that we cannot really ignore the fact that God is trying to talk to us through it (I'm guessing it is because most of us are turning into Facebook zombies and tend to neglect everything else).

Lately, as written on my previous post, I am going through certain paths in my life that I am really not used to. I suddenly felt like using the application one day and realized that God was telling me something, and He keeps on talking to me about it continuously.

I want to write it all down here so that it would not get lost in the flood of posts. So lately, God wanted me to know that:

(1) there is no need to obsess over a decision. God has more in store for us than we can ever predict, and what we fear are bad choices frequently turn out for the best, because our hidden aspirations know better where we are going than our rational minds.

(2) you are not to shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find and keep. The quickest way to find love is to give love. If you want it too badly, you will not find it. The most secure way to keep love is to give it space and care to grow. If you hold it too tightly, you will lose it.

(3) your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and melt all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. God loves you with the very air you breath, the very light that touches your skin, the very ground that supports you. Love is everywhere, - ...melt your barriers, and you will have love in abundance.

You can just see the connection and the progression. You will also see what was going on in my head around those days. I was obsessing over it too much hence number 1. I kept thinking that it is impossible to keep which is why I would not bother anymore hence number 2. Number 2 wants me to give love and give it space and care to grow, but there are so many barriers within me that stops me from doing so hence number 3. I am sure that there would be a number 4, 5, 6... N.

Until then... I just want to burst!

Defining Moments

Defining moments.

That was the main topic for today's message. That there are certain moments in our lives which would eventually define who we are and change lives. These moments may be good or not, but that fact is not as important. What is important is how we react or what decisions we make.

Recently (and actually up until now), I have been facing certain crossroads in life wherein I had to make a decision. It has been really hard since what I want is usually different from what God wants. To be honest, it was and still is hard to fully surrender to God; but I found that He really knows what is best for me and He has everything planned out. HE KNOWS. That fact makes me confident of whatever I am facing and whatever lies ahead of me.

Sometimes, however, I tend to forget all these things and I find myself struggling once again in trusting God. There are certain things that holds us back like sometimes we act as if we control our lives, sometimes we want us to be the one doing everything, or sometimes we let our past hold us back. I am guilty of all of the above.

I am still having a hard time. Especially since I am still on the road, far away from the destination, with no map, no itinerary, no whatsoever. If, however, I want to have a stronger relationship with God, I have to really learn how to fully let go and to trust in Him. Complete surrender. I am still learning, and every day I pray that I would not veer away from Him.

Right now, this is one of my defining moments. Wherein I will choose to fully surrender all to God, to follow His road and to stop negating Him. I will lay down everything to Him. To be perfectly honest, it is really scary, but whenever I think about what He has mapped out for me, I feel really excited.

This 2010, I am ready to go on another journey with my Heavenly Father.