Nothing wrong with making a wrong turn

Today at youth, we talked about mistakes. How it can be your teacher and how it can be your downfall. Mistakes give us knowledge and wisdom. It teaches us to be humble. It gives us the heart to love the broken. It makes us strong enough to help pull up those who are deep in the murk. It leads us to the right path.

Mistakes, however, when done repeatedly is not only stupid but it's really... stupid. It hurts us and robs us of many many things. Need I say more?

People, however, tend to look only at the bad side of making mistakes. They then tend to lock themselves up and live safe lives. Safe and meaningless. They never actually learned anything.

What's the point then of living if you don't?

"This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; this is a time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love... a lot. Major in philosophy, because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent. So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess... we'll know."

-Jessica, Eclipse

There's nothing wrong with making a wrong turn, at least now you know. Though, I should say, if you already know it's wrong... let's not be stupid and do it anyway. That's just plain... stupid. It's also a waste of time.

Well anyway, I'm off to live life. If I stumble over a rock and fall, then I shall welcome the bruises and stand back up again. Moving forward, I will no longer see the same rock. Though if I should see another, I know well enough not to stumble over it again. It's time to stumble over something else. Like flowers, maybe (if such are enough to make us fall).

Letting it all out

Last Thursday, I was a part of the "Kapihan with JCCI leaders Batch 4" and one thing I remember which they all consistently talked about was passion.

Last Friday, I was reading my "Daily devotions" and it was about finding your language, or to make it clearer... passion.

Today, I witnessed the life of someone full of passion at work (and not just literally).

These instances, and a few others in between, made me think about my post last 12-12-2009. I don't know if I was able to find my passion or if I lost it (assuming I had one already).

I think I stopped trying.

I guess that's one of the reasons why I felt exhausted (according to the JCCI leaders) or why I felt like I'm not in the right place (according to my Daily devotional book). It may all have been because of my passion.

I think what hits the most is the sermon last Sunday. It all boils down to my passion for God. I'm not going to lie, but I know that I hid it safely in a box somewhere. Which is wrong.

I want to open that box again, to let it all out.

Starting NOW.

Of postures and word vomits

Just spent my evening (yester...night) with two of my high school friends. We just realized that the last time we chilled or even just talked (virtually or not) was almost a year. Still, I love how we can still talk like we were just together the day before, like nothing changed.

We spent the first half of the night at Greenbelt and had the funniest conversations due to our inability to hear each other. There were just too many people in Greenbelt that time. The usual me then suggested that we go to Starbucks Dela Rosa then as I've grown to love the place so much. As of the moment it is one of my happy places. Finally, we had a decent conversation over coffee and a peaceful environment (which we totally disturbed).

I enjoyed our small time together and realized how much I missed them. I remember how my colleague got a quote from work today which said:

"If we don't spend regular, quality time with those we love including God, our relationships will be shallow, meaningless and unfulfilling."

We've spent so much time together before that our friendship grew roots which goes deep. That made us overcome the threat of distance. Still, as we were not able to spend quality time together for a long time, we actually knew very little of each other. I hope it would not lead to a time when our friendship will be considered "meaningless". We should see each other more often.

I am very thankful to God as He has blessed me much with true friends. Hope to meet up with them again; soon and with the others as well.

Tearing down walls

I was able to read back to one of my older posts about how we should start building bridges and stop building walls. That in every relationship, communication is really important. When we do communicate, we should do so in truth. Always being honest and not leaving things unsaid. Sometimes though, we usually tell others one thing and leave the rest behind. I tend to do the same thing when I talk with God. I usually talk with Him about the big things and leave the small ones, not because I think He does not care much about it, but because I feel ashamed that I would even open up those small things. I forget that He is the God of everything, big and small.

I always remind myself to just tell Him everything. So I do, and I just love the way He responds to it. I love how He is so hands-on and how He is so interested in every detail of our lives. I remember reading the book by Eric and Leslie Ludy "When God Writes Your Love Story", where they say that the most common misconception of most is that God does not care much about our love story. Totally the opposite. We were made to love. God loves us and He is very much hands-on when it comes to our love story.

So when I told Him my small concern, He reminded me of His promise and to whom I am talking to. He promised that He will answer all my questions and that He has prepared someone for me. One who will pursue me, who will delight in me, and will fight for me. One who will break all the lies the devil is telling me. He reminded me that He is at work, but that there are also some things that I need to work at as well. That I need to stop building walls and to stop building towers but to completely surrender it all to Him and to tear down the walls of my tower.

"Unless a woman realizes God’s call and promise to her, she can never understand a man’s call to her. And unless a woman surrenders her tower to God, He cannot fully save her from herself and the lies of the Devil." - Sean, God an You (The Story about every woman)

As we GO

I was reading an article about the "end times" and how we are getting closer and closer towards that moment. The article focused on the signs, all of which were prophesied in the Bible, and it challenged us to make a move. To stop being complacent and start running the race towards the finish line bringing more people as we go.

I realized then how much time I am wasting. Every second is critical, yet I waste it. Even if we say that we are busy, that should not stop us from serving god and sharing of His love. I remember when Ptr. Woody preached at LJBC about the "Great Commission". He said that it should be the "Everyday Commission"; that as we go we should make disciples. As we commute, as we work, as we buy or do whatever it is that we do, we should stay in the presence of God and we should make disciples. As we go about our usual business, we should remember to always be in God's light, so that when people see us, they see God.

We do not know the exact time when Jesus will return, but we know that He will return and so we must prepare. We must stop wasting our time and start doing what God wants us to do.

Running the Race

I just noticed that I haven't had a single post for February. So let this be my first (and possibly last) for February. I just want to say, I wish I have a vacation. SOON. I don't know why but I am really tired lately. :(


I also just want to say how excited I am for this Sunday. I haven't been to our church's service for this past 3 Sundays. I went to HCF for one Sunday and was at Sunday school on the other two days. Even though I know I missed a lot, I also know that I learned a lot and was really blessed in Sunday school and HCF.

God also reminded me of an old Christian song while in HCF that rings true to me and is one song that I would be singing a lot.

WE'LL BE FAITHFUL

Forgetting what lies behind
Setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our Lord Jesus
We're running the race to win
All the way to the end
Breaking down every sin that would seek to hinder us

And we'll be faithful to our calling
For you are able to keep us from falling
For in your promise, we will trust
We'll be faithful to finish
The work You began in us. 

So even though I am tired, I'll keep going. God is my strength and He is more than able to keep me from falling. He mapped out a very beautiful plan for me and I will continue to follow Him all the days of my life.

Change, I welcome thee.

A lot will change and I am learning how to welcome it.

A lot is changing and I am currently welcoming it.

I am looking forward to the time when I will say that a lot has changed and I welcomed it well.

Angela, God wants you to know that...

There is an application in Facebook called "God wants you to know" which gives you daily insights on, well... what God wants you to know. Even though it is just an application, I still believe that God talks to us through it as well. I only open it on certain days, and on those certain days, the messages are really "sakto". It is usually so timely and exact that we cannot really ignore the fact that God is trying to talk to us through it (I'm guessing it is because most of us are turning into Facebook zombies and tend to neglect everything else).

Lately, as written on my previous post, I am going through certain paths in my life that I am really not used to. I suddenly felt like using the application one day and realized that God was telling me something, and He keeps on talking to me about it continuously.

I want to write it all down here so that it would not get lost in the flood of posts. So lately, God wanted me to know that:

(1) there is no need to obsess over a decision. God has more in store for us than we can ever predict, and what we fear are bad choices frequently turn out for the best, because our hidden aspirations know better where we are going than our rational minds.

(2) you are not to shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find and keep. The quickest way to find love is to give love. If you want it too badly, you will not find it. The most secure way to keep love is to give it space and care to grow. If you hold it too tightly, you will lose it.

(3) your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and melt all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. God loves you with the very air you breath, the very light that touches your skin, the very ground that supports you. Love is everywhere, - ...melt your barriers, and you will have love in abundance.

You can just see the connection and the progression. You will also see what was going on in my head around those days. I was obsessing over it too much hence number 1. I kept thinking that it is impossible to keep which is why I would not bother anymore hence number 2. Number 2 wants me to give love and give it space and care to grow, but there are so many barriers within me that stops me from doing so hence number 3. I am sure that there would be a number 4, 5, 6... N.

Until then... I just want to burst!

Defining Moments

Defining moments.

That was the main topic for today's message. That there are certain moments in our lives which would eventually define who we are and change lives. These moments may be good or not, but that fact is not as important. What is important is how we react or what decisions we make.

Recently (and actually up until now), I have been facing certain crossroads in life wherein I had to make a decision. It has been really hard since what I want is usually different from what God wants. To be honest, it was and still is hard to fully surrender to God; but I found that He really knows what is best for me and He has everything planned out. HE KNOWS. That fact makes me confident of whatever I am facing and whatever lies ahead of me.

Sometimes, however, I tend to forget all these things and I find myself struggling once again in trusting God. There are certain things that holds us back like sometimes we act as if we control our lives, sometimes we want us to be the one doing everything, or sometimes we let our past hold us back. I am guilty of all of the above.

I am still having a hard time. Especially since I am still on the road, far away from the destination, with no map, no itinerary, no whatsoever. If, however, I want to have a stronger relationship with God, I have to really learn how to fully let go and to trust in Him. Complete surrender. I am still learning, and every day I pray that I would not veer away from Him.

Right now, this is one of my defining moments. Wherein I will choose to fully surrender all to God, to follow His road and to stop negating Him. I will lay down everything to Him. To be perfectly honest, it is really scary, but whenever I think about what He has mapped out for me, I feel really excited.

This 2010, I am ready to go on another journey with my Heavenly Father.