And if my God is with me whom then shall I fear?

August 29, 2009 - A night where I experienced a very bad "shock" in my life. It was my first and hopefully my last. Everything happened so quickly, yet somehow during that time, I thought everything went to a stand still. As if, in that instant, someone made everything go slow. I wish I was brave enough to do something. I can't believe I just stood there. Still, it is all over now and there is nothing I can do about it. Yes, I am still scared. Now, however, I have peace in my heart for I know that my God will never leave my side.

You Never Let Go By Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

I am very thankful that nothing bad further happened. We are God's children and He will always protect us. Lastly, even though it is hard, there is something I must do. Whoever and wherever you guys are, I forgive you.

Planning Ahead

A re-post of my post from my other blog.

04/16
It’s normal to plan ahead, we all do it. There really is nothing wrong in planning, ahead unless you make your own plans without having in mind God’s plans for you. It is in our nature to plan for something big, knowing that God did not make us small; but when our plans don’t come alive we become so disheartened. We keep on forgetting that it is not our plans that matter but His plan.

I used to feel insignificant, thinking that I am not supposed to be living this life; instead I should be doing something big for Him. I felt like I was on the right track; good thing I always ask God to “slap me in the face” whenever I’m going the wrong way. He didn’t really slap me but one night He made a way for me to talk to a friend whom He is using to make me understand something. My good friend told me how she used to feel the same way, as if she should be doing something extravagant for God; but then her counselor told her that maybe right now, that is not where God wanted her to be. God has huge plans for her, but right now He is using her mightily in the “small” things that we don’t usually notice every day.

I understood then, that once again I am going way ahead of Him by mapping out my life, when in fact He has a plan for me right now that I was not able to notice because I was busy planning. I may not be able to understand completely the way God works but I put my trust in Him knowing full well that He has a plan for me, one that is far greater than what my mind could have ever thought of.

Being Jack-not-in-a-box

I remember my professor asking us a very typical question just to prove a point. He asked us what we want to do in the future or something along that line. Of course, with a typical question you would also get a typical answer. Most of my classmates answered that they wanted to be employed and climb up the corporate ladder blah-blah, be rich blah-blah, rule the world blah-blah, and a whole lot more. The weird thing is, almost everyone wanted the same things, or maybe some just said so because those are the easiest things to say. What made us all say so? That we want those things and that somehow we are sure that it really is what we want? Are we really considering the depth of the question or are we just following blindly what our "ancestors" told us. I am not however trying to spark up hints of rebelliousness here, you can think deeply of the question whether you want to or not. I just want to tell you something about my professor.

Those deep questions about following blindly, those were his words. I guess he wanted us to make a difference, to not be stuck inside a box.

My professor is sick. He has leukemia, although he is getting better (He was found in stage 3 before, now he is just in stage 1) he still is always pale and tired. Somehow we just want him to rest and get better, and he could have, but he chose not to. He just wants to teach.

I am ending my post right here because I believe that I do not need to add anything else.

Fallen rock stars

I have always known that no human being is ever perfect, that people will always fall short. I always knew this, yet I was still blinded by the idea that somehow, though imperfect, we could all grow old and die as we are. I had such ideologies because I always looked up to leaders who- although they deal with a lot of things- are able to keep their faith in God. However, I somehow forgot that leaders are human too, and that to some extent, they will disappoint us. It is indeed very painful, sad, disheartening, and I could add more feelings and synonym to clearly describe how hard it is.

I have just seen the "worst of Christianity"1, someone whom I looked up to and respected has fallen deeply and I am feeling so many painful emotions, I am scared, and just confused. I am having a very hard time moving on because many of the things I held on to was shattered.

Now, instead of "being impressed with spiritual rock stars"2, I have learned to put my complete hope in Jesus; I am placing all my cares unto God and I know full well that He is our healer and our comforter. God knows exactly how to deal with such pains. He is everything we ever need. We are all still going through a tough time, I am still learning to fully depend on God in everything because there are times when I don't understand it, yet I know that God is embracing us all today.


1 Well, ok not sure if it is the worst, or if my description is too much, but yes, somehow now it is the worst.
2 I got this from Brady Boyd's blog which is also very helpful to this current post.

Little Things

It's great how God keeps blessing us even on the little things. We sometimes overlook those small blessings and anyway we sometimes think that God is planning this huge thing that he would not even try to plan small ones for us. Yes, God is preparing something big for all of us, however He is also pouring those small blessings for us every single time. We just have to notice it and realize how big a blessing those small things are.

Lately, I have had stressful situations while commuting. Very insignificant, but God has been blessing me greatly. I usually only bring the exact amount I need to commute, so when I suddenly needed another ride (because of the great floods of Makati or of other petty little things) I end up giving whole amounts and the drivers won't let me ride anymore. During these times, God used complete strangers to bless me. Now, I'm not giving any ideas here on how to avoid paying, I'm just saying that usually we don't notice it, but God is already at work in our lives and He always is. It took complete strangers for me to realize this.

Now it is up to us to notice all these things; that every thing and every day is God's blessing.